It is hard to know where to begin. Maybe it’s the fence post moments – you know, the ones that serve as anchors in what will be the story of our life – the ones that ground us. The ones we use to measure time as before and after. The last ten years have given me numerous events to mark the time —

The grocery store where I realized I could no longer straighten my knees, and a year later learned an autoimmune disease would change my life forever.

At the reproductive endocrinologist’s office – thoughtfully littered with boxes of tissues.

The restaurant where we met our daughter’s biological mom, and she paid the tip.

In the ambulance where minutes before I was begging my one year old to come back to me during a long seizure.

At the pediatrician’s office when she told us our observations were consistent with Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Perhaps, each of these are my fence posts, and it’s the combination of them that form my story. Maybe it is the everyday moments that connect the fence posts, and stabilize us when life turns upside down… 

What’s funny is the defining parts of my life were never part of my plan. And yet, my everyday moments are more than I could have asked for or imagined.* My heart is (still) full.

It’s like I didn’t know joy until I knew suffering.

So, how did I get here, and why flowers? The short version is, one night when I was rocking my daughter to sleep (after a day full of seizures), my heart was incredibly heavy for women further on this path than me, and for the women who would come after. During that time, I was also planning my first garden – a long time dream, and still transitioning from full-time work to stay-at-home mom. I wondered how I could commit to anything – like a bible study small group, when I couldn’t even prepare for the next few minutes. And then it was there – flowers. Each detail – the name, the Hope Bouquet, the nomination form – all of the details were just there. I could encourage and connect with others also in hard seasons – at my own pace. 

I’ve been told, if something is in your heart it is there for a reason and it is there for you. 

I know we need hope. I know each of us encounters someone silently suffering more than we know, and perhaps you find yourself silently suffering right now.

I have found a kind word or deed has a ripple effect we cannot measure – it has in my story.  

My hope is that even if you never nominate someone – but I hope you will, that you will be encouraged to intentionally connect with someone in your life who is going through a hard season – a note, dinner, phone call, or coffee, and let them know you see them. You don’t need to have the answers. You just have to be there. 

*Check out Ephesians 3:20

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